These past few months, I have just tried to survive each day. School started and it hasn't stopped. I've tried and tried to keep up with everything but I've come to realize that I can't. I just have to survive. Between a 3 month long headache, a light case of summer-is-over depression, a new class and new curriculum, moving to a new house, moving out of an old apartment, a growing belly, 3 growing kids, and a husband in school, I feel like I've had a crazy breakdown these past few months.
I've bombed in the field of blogging. Sometimes I wonder if that makes me a bad mother. Sometimes I wonder if working makes me a bad mother. Sometimes I wonder if I'm catching it ALL and savoring it up. I try. People make remarks to me all the time about how a mother should be in the home. I love Utah. In my head, I think they are soooo lucky but that doesn't make them a better mother than me. I love my kids more than anything. I think quality is better than quantity. I know moms who are home all day and never hold their children and say I love you. I may not have them all day, but the time I have them, I love them. One mom even told me that I should read an article in the Ensign and it would make me stop working for sure. I thought it was pretty ignorant to say that to someone who is just doing the best she can with what she has. I was comforted when I heard the talk in April conference by Quentin L. Cook last spring in regarding working or not.
"These are very emotional, personal decisions, but there are two principles that we should always keep in mind. First, no woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan.
(note: I praise, respect and adore women who spend their days at home just devoted to their families 100%)
Second, we should all be careful not to be judgmental or assume that sisters are less valiant if the decision is made to work outside the home. We rarely understand or fully appreciate people’s circumstances. Husbands and wives should prayerfully counsel together, understanding they are accountable to God for their decisions." Quentin L. Cook
I always have to go back to this talk when I start to doubt. I am working and doing the best I can. When life gets busy, I have to get rid of anything that takes up my time away from my family. I am also in LOVE with Heinrich for being such a good father and doing his part. I think too many families today are unbalanced with a father who works and a mom who nurtures and there is no cooperation. I love how Heinrich is involved and does sooooo much to love our kids and provide for them even when his plate is plenty full of things he needs to do as well.
I don't catch it all but I think that what I catch, I REALLY savor and appreciate. For instance, tonight, I got a second to go on the comp and go through my thousands of pictures that aren't posted.
soccer
first day of kindergarten
the swim park
kites in the park
birthdays
It is overwelming to think how far behind I am but I guess this is my life and while I'm not able to post it all and record it all, I can at least live it all. I will never be the perfect mom but the most important thing I can do is to just love my kids and enjoy my family and our many blessings.
We had a great summer!!!
We drank pool water. ewww
We went down slides.
We played rough with dad.
I love how her hair gets little curls anytime we swim.
Haini trying to teach all our Utahan kids how to do the shaka. sad
We soaked up the sun front and back.
We picked flowers in large fields.
We played like Tourists.
We stopped and enjoyed the wildlife.
We saw Old Faithful.
We met up with long lost cousins and had a blast.
Sitani rowed his first kayak and actually went pretty far away from shore without being scared.
The girls sewed aprons with grandma.
Sitani braved the outdoors and slept in his tent.
We picked vegetables from grandma's garden.
Elijah drank water from the hose all summer long. ewww
We bounced with cousins.
Marley does this thing where she will pick a flower and put it in your ear. Then she whispers in your ear , "You have a flower in your ear." I think she did it everyday to me this past summer. I just laughed.
We watched the Freedom Festival parade in our BYU stuff and cheered when BYU and the missionaries passed.
We got glow sticks and watched the Stadium of Fire fireworks on the Provo Temple lawn.
We were surprised when daddy bit into his cake right after we sang to him.
We roller-skated with cousins. At least we tried.
We did soccer camp for all of June. It was a blast.
We ran through sprinklers after soccer camp.
We rodes rides at the Orem Summerfest thanks to the $10 grandma and grandpa gave us.
Sitani played tee-ball. Next year he will do baseball.
We ran through water parks with friends.
We watched Sitani leave for his first day of kindergarten.
Marley started her first year of soccer and loved it.
Sitani smashed every soccer team he played.
They let me stop and take a couple of pictures along the way.
This is my FAVORITE PICTURE OF THE YEAR. Marley was dying to get her ears pierced but Heinrich kept saying no. Finally, he took her on a special date and she came home with Hello Kitty in her ear. She was soooooo excited and felt soooooo grown-up.
Elijah falls asleep every time he cuts his hair.
We saw two rainbows. It was the most amazing thing.
We finally bought a house and still can't believe that we have two bathrooms.
We always find these two in the same bed. Marley is a little mother to this guy. He always crawls into her bed.
We had the best shaved ice with friends.
We ate a lot of strawberries and nutella this summer.
Marley made my bed for me almost every day. She likes to be a helper.
We saw the most amazing sunsets right in our own little park.
We liked to chase the kite around.
We hiked the Y until this big storm came along.
We bird sat.
We found sticks and turned them into swords.
We woke up next to each other.
We found a water fountain in the outdoor plaza, stripped, and got soaked.
One day we walked to UVU and walked around like we were all in college.
We took long naps together.
My favorite thing... we layed on blankets in the park with daddy on lazy Sunday afternoons.
Now can you see why I get sad when school starts and schedules get busy? But life goes on and the kids are already soooooo excited for the snow to come.